I’ve come to realize something about myself. I’m a pretty positive person when it comes to dealing with other people’s stuff, but I tend to lose that positivity when it involves ME dealing with my own stuff.

Maybe we’re all like that to a point, but I think sometimes I have a tendency to go from one end of the spectrum to the other. I can sit there and help someone else make sense of a situation, but if I experience the same situation my positive attitude goes out the window and I become one of those people who jumps to conclusions and immediately ends up in a foul mood.

Recently, my boyfriend and I have been going through a workbook series called, “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts” by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. Make fun if you want, but we’re only through Chapter 2 and it’s been hugely helpful. It’s designed for people who are either on the path to getting married, or have been married for a short time—but it could really help any married couple.

The last chapter we read dealt with attitudes, and basically how destructive negative attitudes and negative self-talk can have on a relationship. I think we’re all pretty well aware of that, but it’s one thing to read it, and a whole other thing to be able to look back on times that your attitude has affected people in your life.

You choose your attitude. You choose how you let things affect you. Yes, there are going to be times that people upset you. There are going to be times that someone does something that’s going to make you downright furious. There may even be times where you’re wronged in such a way that all you can do is cry.

Now I’m not saying that every single one of us isn’t entitled to our feelings, but it’s what we choose to do with those feelings, it’s the way we choose to express those feelings that really matters. No one can make you feel bad unless you let them. I have an extremely hard time living that out—but I do believe it.

I came across a quote from Maya Angelou that said, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

Huh. Now there’s a thought. Don’t let other people and what they say or do dictate your feelings. Now, I know that’s a whole lot easier said than done, and if I could give you an instruction guide on how to make that happen—I absolutely would.

My advice is this. The next time someone makes you mad—don’t stay mad, don’t let it ruin your day. Choose to resolve the issue in a healthy way, forgive, and then listen very carefully to the last thing you have to do…let it go. Wait. What’d she say?! Let it go?! Yes. Let it go. Holding on to that stuff for ammo later on is NOT a road that needs to be gone down—that road is full of destruction and usually turns out to be a dead end.

The thing we all need to remember is that no relationship is perfect—and I’m not just talking romantic relationship here—and the reason is because no one person is perfect. Remember that the next time you get all bent out of shape about something someone’s done and then make the choice to not let it affect you in a negative way. You see, positive energy attracts positive energy—so if you can let things roll off your back and you can solve situations without ruining your day or holding grudges for weeks—you may be pleasantly surprised at what comes your way.

 

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