Some Things Never Change

Posted: February 27, 2012 in Celebrations, Friendship, Life, Nightlife
Tags: , , ,

Friday night I went out for a friend’s birthday. She had grand plans to do a bar crawl, but the bar we went to had cheap drinks, go-go dancers, and we’d claimed some corner seats, so we opted to spend the entire night there.

After the bar, against my better judgment, I was talked into going to an after hours party. It didn’t consist of random people that we’d found walking out of Kum & Go at 1:59am—they were actually people that another friend of mine knows.

However, you know the old saying that nothing good happens after midnight? That becomes even MORE so when it’s after 2am.

First off, there are two objectives at after hours parties. To either continue to drink, or to get laid, or in a lot of cases, both.  Neither were on my mind however. I suppose I just got caught up in the moment, but that moment got me home at 4:30 in the morning, which is about 4 hours later than I wanted to be home.

Anyhow, I realized that every after hours party has the same types of people. I came across these types damn near every weekend when I was still in college, and now 7 years later, I’m still running across them—which is somehow oddly comforting, but strangely disconcerting in the same sense.

#1—Super Drunk Guy
This guy was drunk before he went to the bar at 8pm and somehow has stumbled back to the house to continue drinking. His bobbing and weaving and attempts at talking make everyone laugh. In spite of the bumping music, and the 20 people inside the house, this guy will pass out and usually wake up with Sharpie all over him.

#2—Super Drunk Girl
The only real difference between super drunk girl and super drunk guy is that super drunk girl’s voice gets really high pitched.

#3—Creepy Guy
Every party has one and unfortunately on Friday night, I was the one that creepy guy wouldn’t leave alone. He follows you around, tries to whisper in your ear, corners you in rooms, and when you tell him you have a boyfriend, he tells you that he has a fiancée—but that neither one of  you are married yet, so you should just live life. Uhhh…good morals creepy guy.

#4—The DJ
This person is actually pretty important—they’re responsible for the mood of the party. They know that if there are more guys than girls in the house—they probably shouldn’t play a Spice Girls song.

#5—The Magician
This is the person who actually came to the party prepared. When everyone runs out of cigarettes, and the last beer has been drank—this guy walks out to his car and comes back in with everything that everyone needs.  No one knows how he does it, sometimes people don’t even know who he is, but boy are they glad he came to the party.

#6—The Uninterested Boyfriend/Girlfriend
A couple showed up and it’s fairly obvious that one of them did NOT want to go to the party. They either spend the party apart from each other with one of them sulking, or they spend the party yelling at each other. They never should have shown up, but for whatever reason, now that they’re there, they won’t leave.

#7—The Philosophical Thinker
Generally, you’ll find these people in the quieter parts of the house, or on the porch—and they often seem to be gazing into the distance. They’ll ask questions like, “Do you ever wonder how it is that we’re all here, in this moment? Is this where we’re supposed to be?” Or, “Do you ever stop and think about how in a universe this big, there has to be other life forms besides us?” Uh. Dude. No. It’s 3 in the morning—all I’m thinking about is my pillow.

#8—The Maker-Outers
These people usually don’t know each other—but through witty banter, eye batting, and a 12-pack, they start making out with no shame. They don’t care who sees—and more power to them. We should all be so uninhibited.

I don’t dislike any of these people—except maybe for Creepy Guy, but it’d been awhile since I’d had to deal with one. I just think it’s funny that things haven’t really changed—the same types of people are still everywhere you look, but I do think I’ve changed. I’ve been the Super Drunk Girl before—and you know what? I like seeing someone else play that role a WHOLE lot better than I ever did. So Super Drunk Girl can stake her claim—I’ll have a short chat with The Philosophical Thinker while trying to avoid Creepy Guy. I’m out after that though—I don’t need Creepy Guy coming at me because he wants us to be the Maker-Outers. Gross.

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Comments
  1. Dustin Smothers says:

    This was a good one…the Magician is by far my favorite person! Haha

  2. Hey, I know these people as well! I don’t think I was in one of these on the list. But, the go-go dancers were fun at first. 🙂

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