Decisions, Decisions

Posted: February 7, 2012 in Family, Friendship, Life, Religion
Tags: , , , ,

For as long as I can remember, I’ve cared too much about what other people think. I came into my own in spite of it, but still to this day there are times where I make my decisions based on how they’re going to affect other people rather than how they’re going to affect me.

I’m a people pleaser and one of the most non-confrontational people I know. Those two things combined sometimes leave behind a spineless sissy in their wake. So what gives? I’m a smart, intelligent, caring person. I’m a great advice giver and people tell me that I’m the type of person others just like to be around. So why in the world do I spend so much time and energy consulting the way my decisions are going to make other people feel?

I’ll tell you why. Because to know that you’ve disappointed someone is one of the WORST feelings in the world. I don’t like having people mad at me either—but the thing I’ve learned recently via this class I’m taking on the book of Ephesians is that anger is a product of pride. We all have our own convictions and our own beliefs and generally disagreements occur because of a difference in those. The anger comes into play when one or both people are too proud to admit that the other may have a point.

I can deal with knowing I made someone angry. In my mind if two people talk through it, anger can actually subside pretty quickly. But disappointment? That’s a whole other ballgame. Have you ever seen the look in someone eyes you’ve just disappointed? It’s heart-wrenching. I’m not sure that there is anything worse than knowing that you’ve just let someone down.

But what do you when the decision they want you to make may not be in your own best interest? Well. That’s kind of what I’m trying to sort through right now. I’m in the midst of trying to make a decision concerning something, and I feel like I’m being pulled a thousand different directions. One person thinks this, another person thinks that, and the whole thing is causing me to not even know what I’m thinking. I’ve been praying my heart out about it, but with the constant chatter going on inside my head, I’m not sure I could make out God’s voice if he DID speak to me.

As for what I’m trying to decide, it’s kind of a sensitive subject. It’s nothing life-threatening or anything, just something that doesn’t need to be discussed until a decision has been made. No disrespect to any of you, but spilling the beans here would maybe just result in even more cooks in the kitchen—and I think we may have a few too many as it is. Just so you guys aren’t in the dark though, I’ll promise you this. Once this whole thing IS resolved—I’ll fill you in.

So what’s my solution? I’m going to keep praying. I learned a while back that we’re supposed to pray like children. A child asks their parents for the same things over and over and over again—and that’s how we should pray to God. He wants to help us, but we have to want his help. Then, we listen and we watch, because as much as much as we want him to grab us and shake us and say, “Do this,” he’s not going to. There’s not going to be some dramatic sign. It’s going to be much more subtle, but it’s going to provide clarity and a sense of peace—and right now, that’s EXACTLY what I need.

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Comments
  1. wmarsau says:

    God almost always has a different schedule than we do and that is one of the most frustrating parts. We want our prayers answered in our time, but God answers them in His time.

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