Deck The Halls With Christmas Movies

Posted: December 15, 2011 in Celebrations, Holidays
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Some of you may have seen my Facebook status a couple weeks back where I made mention of being obsessed with the Christmas movies on Lifetime, the Hallmark Channel, and ABC Family. It may actually have become a bit of a disease, because now I’ve actually taken to DVRing some of them.

Thing is, these movies aren’t THAT great by cinematic standards. I mean sure—they’re Christmas movies so they’ve got that going for them—but they’re SO unbelievably cheesy, not to mention predictable. Like the one with Kristy Swanson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer—the movie version), plays a poor, single mother of 3, who ends up in a town where everyone’s super nice. One guess as to what happens. Yep. The town bands together and takes care of the family at Christmas. Awwww. Or the one I watched last night with Zack Morris and the chic from Road Trip. She keeps reliving Christmas Eve over and over (like a Christmas Eve Groundhog Day). It just so happens on Christmas Eve she has a blind date—with Zack Morris, and she keeps effing it up. Guess how that one ends up. They end up together. Duh.

I’m not complaining about these movies—obviously I enjoy them if I can watch hours of them on end. I’ve got no problem admitting I like cheesy movies—ESPECIALLY when the basis for them is Christmas. So here’s what I’ve decided to do. Below I’ve listed my top 5 REAL Christmas movies. These aren’t movies that were part of ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas. They weren’t Hallmark Channel exclusives, and they didn’t make up any of Fa-La-La-La Lifetime’s programming. Keep in mind that I’m going to watch virtually any movie if it has to do with Christmas—these are just the first 5 I’d pick off a rack full of holiday DVDs.

#5—Polar Express
I remember reading this book when I was little—I can still see the cover in my mind. Then this movie was brought to life, with none other than Tom Hanks as the conductor. The end with the bell—STILL gives me chills. There’s one very important message in this movie—and it just so happens the message itself is one word. Believe.

#4—National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

I chuckled just typing that. A jello mold. A squirrel flying out of a Christmas tree. A greased up saucer. Cousin Eddie in his robe and winter hat, yelling, “Merry Christmas! Shitter’s full!” All those things and about 29 more make this movie a Christmas classic.  A classic I realized I didn’t own until this past Saturday. That was remedied quickly however by dropping a mere $8 at Best Buy.

#3—Love Actually
Looking for a romantic Christmas comedy? This one has six or so stories all rolled into one. Humor, Christmas, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, AND Liam Neeson, along with a stirring rendition of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You?” How can you go wrong?

This movie gave us quotes such as:
“A Christmas gram? What’s that? I want one!”
“You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa.”
“Us elves try to stick to the four major food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup.”
“He’s an angry elf.”
It gave us a whole bunch more, but it also taught us that the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. And that you shouldn’t eat gum from underneath NYC handrails.

And my number one Christmas movie….

It’s a Wonderful Life.

This is it. THE movie that epitomizes what Christmas is all about. Redemption, grace, and giving. George Bailey showed us what it’s like to almost lose everything, and what it’s like to get it all back. Now THAT’S a story that needs to be told at Christmas.

Now I know not everyone will agree with this list. I know that I left off A Christmas Story. And Home Alone. And A Christmas Carol. And Bad Santa. And if I wrote this blog tomorrow, maybe those would make the list. All I know is that I love Christmas and all the movies that go with it. Hallmark Channel exclusives or not—you sit me down and show me a Christmas movie and I’ll show you what it’s like to not hear me talk for two hours. Happy Christmas movie watching!


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