What’s Love Got To Do With It

Posted: November 17, 2011 in Life, Love, Relationships
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

All right. So I get that Tina wrote this song in the midst of a destructive relationship—one where Ike was going all…well…Ike Turner on her. She tells us that love is a secondhand emotion, and then wonders, who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken?

Fair enough Tina. Thing is this though—the Beatles told us that all you need is love. O.A.R claims that love is worth the fall. Even Michael Bolton got in on it when he informed us all that love is a wonderful thing. So who’s right?

To quote The Darkness, I believe in a thing called love. I honestly think the Eagles had it right when they said, love will keep us alive. Here’s my issue. We get told stories about people falling in love, or people who are already in love. OR…we hear about horrible breakups, and people who are wasting away because of lost loves. What you DON’T hear about is the people who are hopelessly in love, but have their struggles—and that seems odd to me, because I think that most of us fall into that category.

Even in talking to other women about their relationships—I get told about how he made dinner, or about the cute card he got her, or about the mind-blowing sex they had. What I don’t hear about is the lame ass argument that ensued AFTER that dinner, over who was going to do the dishes. Or how that cute card was given because earlier that day there’d been an argument over laundry. And that mind-blowing sex? Make up sex due to an argument over money.

So what’s the deal? I’ll tell you exactly what the deal is. We all want other people to think that our relationships have no issues. I’ll go so far as to say that on some level—I think that we want our relationships to be better than everyone else’s. You know what though? No one relationship is perfect, because neither person within a relationship is perfect. And you know what else? Fighting, unless it’s the type of fighting that went on between Ike and Tina, can be good.

Wait. What? What’d she say? Fighting can be good? What a weirdo. Hear me out. Fighting shows passion—it shows that two people care enough about something to argue about it. Fighting allows people to go through a whole gamut of emotions, it teaches forgiveness, patience, and understanding, and provided that at the end of the day both people are smart enough to not let the fighting consume them—it can actually bring two people closer together.

Think about it. How many times have you done something and a fight ensued, but in the end you learned something about your mate, or they you? Like the time you asked them to pick up their shoes and they flipped because the way you’d said it reminded them of the aunt who’d embarrassed them at Christmas years before? Or the time you were whistling, Bad Moon Rising, and they yelled at you to stop because the song was playing when they were in a car accident back in high school?

Those are silly—but you get my point. A couple shouldn’t constantly be fighting, but I don’t think anyone should be constantly happy. I don’t think anyone IS constantly happy—and if you can sit there and honestly say you’ve NEVER had a fight, a disagreement, an argument, a quarrel—whatever you want to call it—I think you’re in for more problems than you can anticipate.

Going back to Tina—my point is this. Love has EVERYTHING to do with it. Fights will happen—big and small, stupid and not. But at the end of the day if you love each other, and make a promise to always come back to each other before you close your eyes at night—I think you’ll find that it was actually Huey Lewis who had it right—because it’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s cruel sometimes, but it just might save your life—that’s the power of love.

  1. OracularSpectacular says:

    I don’t think most people I know are like that – in fact they’ll be the first to start on about how angry they were at their other halves for clipping their toe nails in the living room or whatever!

  2. cdub says:

    Obviously I have never talked to you about my husband! We have plenty of “healthy” arguments! And I like to tell it like this: if he weren’t so darn GREAT, I wouldn’t be able to bitch about all that little stuff 🙂

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