Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Posted: September 7, 2011 in Life, Relationships
Tags: , , ,

So how many of you have heard someone say that they’ll have been married for 50 years? Or seen an anniversary photo in the paper and talks about how the couple has been married for 60 years? I’m pretty sure all of us have–but how many of us have actually sat down and contemplated what that means?

My grandparents will have been married for 50 years next April. FIFTY. That’s fifty years with the SAME person. Fifty Christmases, fifty Thanksgivings, fifty birthdays together. Fifty may not be a lot of money nowadays–but when you’re talking wedding anniversaries, it’s far more than most people this day in age. I read somewhere that 50% of marriages end in divorce today, and of the people that get REmarried, 46% of those end in divorce. Not good odds for those of us who aren’t married. So how do you beat the odds? How do you fall into that 50% who stays together?

Obviously I don’t REALLY know the answer to that question because I’m not married. That combined with me being 28 makes it a little hard to know how to sustain a 50 year marriage. I’m gonna tell you what I think it takes though–then you guys let me know if you think I’m right or not.

Respect. You guys thought the first one would be love didn’t you? Well…hold on to your hats. If you love someone with all your heart, you better respect the hell out of them–and they you. You can’t go around doing things you’d yell at your partner for doing. And at the same time you can’t berate them, or talk down to them. At the end of the day you respect them and your relationship.

Listen. The important thing here is that sometimes it’s not what the person is saying that we need to listen to. It’s how they’re saying it. Or in some cases, it’s what they’re NOT saying.

Don’t go to bed angry. You’ve heard this before–in fact your mom has probably told you this. But you know what? She’s right. Never let the sun set on an argument. It makes the day end shitty, lends itself to crappy sleep, and leads to a shitty next day.

Show affection. Whether it be through words or actions, show affection on a daily basis. So many people live their lives thinking people know exactly how they feel about them. Even if that were true, people still need to hear things, or be shown things–it’s human nature.

Do things together. Sounds pretty simple doesn’t it? Keep in mind you don’t have to do EVERYTHING together–but know that sometimes you may have to bite the bullet and do something you don’t want to. It’s called compromise and I could probably write an entire blog on it.

Love with everything you have. There’s going to be good times and bad times, and love alone can’t always hold things together–but if you don’t have love it’s pretty much inevitable that things are going to fall apart.

Don’t take each other for granted. We get so used to being together, to our person being around, that we start to think they’ll always be there, doing the things they’ve always done. And they very well may be–but taking that for granted can lead to someone feeling very unappreciated.

Don’t live in fear. I live in constant fear of being left–if it can be avoided, don’t do that. It creates drama where there shouldn’t be any, and causes questions to be asked that have no business being asked. Be confident enough in your relationship, and yourself for that matter, that fear doesn’t have to be a factor.

I don’t know which couples are gonna make it and which ones aren’t. I sure hope that all of the couples I know do–but with 1 in 2 couples ending up in divorce court–I don’t know how likely that is. Here’s what I do know though. Those things I listed up above–all things we should be doing without me typing them out. But we forget because it’s SO easy to when you’ve fallen into a rhythm with someone you love.

I wish every single one of you nothing but ridiculous amounts of happiness. And if you need to, steal every single one of those things from up above. And then invite me to your wedding. 🙂

  1. andy1076 says:

    Well said 🙂 🙂

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