Sometimes It IS About Me

Posted: August 18, 2011 in Life, Work
Tags: , , ,

So here it is. The eve before my last day of work. And you know what? It STILL hasn’t sunk in that I’m leaving–which confuses me and means one of things as far as I’m concerned.

1. It won’t REALLY sink in until I don’t have to come back here on Monday.
2. I’m so excited about the new job that I’m not sad about leaving the old job (this doesn’t count friends at work).
3. I’m a cold, heartless bitch who just wants the eff out of this hellhole.

Okay. In all seriousness, it’s not number three. And if any of you found yourself nodding your head as you read number three–like you DO think I’m a cold, heartless bitch–you should probably watch yourself. Kidding, kidding. I think it’s a combination of one and two–I even took Monday and Tuesday off next week for some downtime–so it may REALLY sink in Monday morning that I’m not having to make the trek to Des Moines for work.

Someone once told me that when one door closes, another one opens. Pete Townshend wanted us to let his love open the door. And The Doors wanted us to break on through to the other side. Funny thing is, they’re all right. I suppose I like to think that I had two doors slightly ajar at the same time and I chose to close one and fling open the other, but to be completely honest–I don’t know how much choice I had in the matter. All I know is that this is all working out exactly how it’s supposed to–the only thing that kinda sucks is that I’m the only one who can go through this aforementioned door.

This is MY thing. This is MY door. I may have consulted a bazillion people about what to do, but I made this decision for ME. I don’t know when I got so grown up. Making possible life-altering decisions and shit. Funny thing is if we’re in a car and you ask me where I want to eat I’ll still say, “I don’t care.”

This may end up being the best move I’ve ever made, or it could end up being the worst–but at the end of the day, it was MINE. And that’s all that really matters. No one’s going to fault me for that. No one that I’m friends with at my soon-to-be old job is going to stop being friends with me because I’m leaving. Although my new coworkers may not befriend me due to the fact that I my old job was at a what most think is a very liberal newspaper–but that’s neither here nor there.

I’m excited for this new job. It hasn’t sunk in yet and I don’t know when it will. There’s a good chance that when it does I’ll cry and that’s okay. Maybe it happens tomorrow on my last official day and I break down and snot all over. Fact of the matter is…it will happen. Change usually does–and it’s our job to change with it.

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