Priorities Schmiorities

Posted: August 9, 2011 in Friendship, Life, Relationships
Tags: , , , , ,

So here’s what I’ve figured out today. We all want to be someone’s priority. Admit it. Even the most self-sufficient, independent people deep down want to be SOMEONE’S priority. Here’s the problem though. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, there’s going to be other things that take priority over us–some that should, some that shouldn’t. So the question becomes this–how do you handle it when something else bumps you down a rung on the priority ladder?

My answer to that question? Not very well. I have NEVER thought of myself as a selfish person, and those of you that really know me, know that I’m the furthest thing from that. However, when I get glanced over, for something I perceive to be less important–it’s not going to go over well. I’m sorry–we’ve had plans for two weeks and now you can’t come visit because you can’t find anyone to feed your cat? Really? (That’s actually never really happened to me–I’m just trying to set the stage here).

Here’s the thing. Everyone wants to be made to feel important. Like you’re it–as in if you weren’t around, the world people currently know would cease to exist. Maybe that sounds narcissistic and self-centered, but it’s true. All any human being wants is to be made the center of someone’s universe–and as over the top as that may sound, you don’t have to do over the top things to make someone feel that way.

I suppose the thing I forget though is that it’s a two-way street–no one-ways up in here. If you want someone to put you as a priority, you need to put them as one. Someone once told me the best way to get a compliment is to give one. But what happens when you have done that, and you still haven’t made their list? Well. I suspect you take stock of the relationship at that point. If you can honestly say that you’re doing everything you should be doing, and you’re still not getting what you need–then maybe this is one of those times where it’s better for you to walk away.

We have all sorts of relationships in our lives, but I strongly believe that we’re supposed to get something out of all of them. When a relationship stops being fruitful–why stay in it? And I’m not even talking romantic relationships here–this can fit in with friendships and what not too. I just think that if you’re giving all you can in hopes of getting just a small portion of what you’ve given back, and it’s not working–it’s not a good fit. It’s exhausting, it’s depressing, and to be quite frank…it’s kind of pathetic.

Now I don’t want anyone to think that things aren’t worth fighting for–you just need to know when the fighting isn’t doing any good anymore, and that point is different for everyone. You fight for what you love, you fight for what you believe in, and at the end of the day–you hope it’s enough. For me, right now–it is and I’d appreciate if all of you could keep me at the top of your list of priorities so I don’t have to fight anyone.

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