Friends Don’t Let Friends Blog

Posted: May 3, 2011 in Friendship, Life
Tags: , ,

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “In order to have a friend, you have to be one.” We’ve all got at least one friend–I hope. I’m a firm believer in the fact that there are different tiers of friends. Everyone’s definition of what each tier consists of is different though. Mine is something like this:

Best friends end up in jail with you.
Good friends come pick you up from the clink.
Friends hear about your prison time from other friends and then call you.
Acquaintances don’t know about you being in the slammer until it hits the presses.

Okay. So that was purely for effect–but my point is that we don’t surround ourselves with one specific group of people. While I think we do tend to keep the company of others like us–I think having people not like us can be refreshing. Below is my list of the SIX friends you should have. I could have put the 27 friends you should keep–but you guys would’ve stopped at six anyway. So here they are in no particular order.

1. The Funny Friend
Oscar Wilde said once that laughter wasn’t a bad beginning for a friendship and it was by far the best ending for one. This is the friend that can always make you laugh. You could be living a country western song and somehow this friend gets you to at first just chuckle, but before you know it you’re snorting and gasping for air. This friend is selfless and RARELY unhappy. After a visit with them you’re thinking that laughter really is the best medicine.

2. The Work Friend
When it’s all said and done we’re going to have spent WAY too much time of our lives working–so you might as well make friends at work. The work friend you see mostly at work (obviously), but sometimes outside. They make work more enjoyable by sling-shotting rubber bands over cubicle walls, unplugging your computer mouse, and making ‘that’s what she said’ apply to EVERYTHING.  This friend is the one you go to when something’s going down at work…because, well…you work at the same place.

3. The Old Friend
I’m not talking like an elderly person here–I’m talking about someone who’s known you for 10+ years or so. If it’s someone you went to school with, even better. You maybe don’t see or talk to this friend much now that you’re all growed up–but it’s okay, because this is the friend who knows that you slept with a nightlight until 7th grade. They know that in 2nd grade you peed your pants and they totally covered for you. They even liked you in 8th grade when you had those awful glasses and that horrible haircut. The old friend grounds you and reminds you of simpler times.

4. The Brutally Honest, Tough Love Friend
Sometimes you want to punch this friend in the face. If you’re looking for someone to sugarcoat things, hold you, and tell you everything’s going to be okay–this is NOT the friend you call. This friend tells you that yes–those pants do make your ass like big. When you sit there and whine about your job, they respond by telling you to put your big girl (or boy) pants on and do something about it. Fight with your significant other? This friend’s advice is to say what you need to say and then to let it go and stop stewing about it. This friend can sometimes come across as almost mean–but in the end they’re saving us from ourselves and our silly little pity parties, along with years of intensive psychotherapy.

5. The Self-Centered, Drama-Driven Friend
This friend’s trademark saying is, “I hate drama!” Immediately after that statement a story gets launched into about how they shouldn’t have gone home with the person they did the night before. This is the SAME person you could call up to tell them the biggest news of your life, only to have them completely disregard it and say, “You’ll never guess what happened to me last night!” So why do we have this friend? Because THIS ladies and gentlemen, is also our partier friend. I’m not talking grab drinks after work partying either–I’m talking Hangover-esque partying. You don’t call this friend to figure out the meaning of life–you call this friend because you’re overcome with the urge to drink 14 margaritas on a Tuesday night.

6. The Best Friend
This friend could be a few of the last five all rolled into one–and your own best friend is a reflection of you. So the characteristics of my best friend may be different than yours. Typically though, they know A LOT. Maybe too much–but that’s okay, because they’re your best friend and they don’t judge. They’re one of the first people you tell things to–which is probably why they know so damn much. They get you–and you get them. This friend is loyal, trustworthy, and a friend for life. Basically…this friend is the shit.

I’m blessed enough to have approximately 2,409 friends–although Facebook would have me think otherwise. My point here is that we need people–some may disagree, but I think I’m right. We can’t thrive without them and if you’re like me, there are some you miss right now. Some you maybe thought of while you were reading this. We lose touch as we grow up–but it’s not hard to reconnect. Unless you pissed someone off that you want to get back into touch with–then I don’t know what to tell you. So call ’em, email ’em, Facebook ’em–it’s good to hear from people you haven’t talked to for awhile–provided they haven’t turned into assholes. Maybe save those for another day. So go do it now. Seriously. I’m done here. Go!

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Comments
  1. wmarsau says:

    Great blog. It is very important to have all those kinds of friends. So what kind of friend are you?

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